Things I hate about organising conferences...

I won't deny it - I love what I do. But as I'm one of those you has a thing for destructive relationships, I end up "suffering" quite a bit, all for the sake of my brilliant event. But there are some things.... that just get on my nerves....!!!

- STUPID QUESTIONS! people just don't read the writting on the wall and make me lose precious time stating the obvious in a polite way. Believe it or not, my job ISN'T replying emails of people that don't know how to read! One word: subsidiarity! Try solving the problem by yourselves - the solution is often there! - BEFORE NAGGING THE CONTACT PERSON!!

- Taking the blame: I didn't do it, but I'm the one who has to apologise "for the inconvinience" *EVERY* time...

- The Chairs Stress: the event deadline approaches and people get nervous; there is just so much that can go wrong and so many last minute things that can't be done before, people get nervous and lash out. At whom? Moi, of course. So what is my job? Do what needs to ne done, under pressure, and still control other people's nerves. What about me? Stressed? Of course not! I just *HAVE TO* be pacient otherwise I'll be showing I "crack under pressure". Why don't you all just s*d off and let me do my job?!?

- Authors and reviewers that make a mess: forgot the password? why not ask for a reminder from the system? NO!! Let's all just make new sign ups while they are open! and then email me and all the organisation and God himself complaining the there are no assigned papers, that the papers were refused, that the reviews disappear... or even better: email me for the password they forgot complaining "they never received the email with the password". Why would you receive something you DEFINED YOURSELF?!! What's left is me hacking the system to delete erroneous files and logs.

- "She will do it": the best escape for getting features the system doesn't provide to begin with or dumping on someone (again, Moi) problems that weren't there that need solutions no-one really has. Somehow, I end up fixing things up.... much to the expense of my life expectancy.

- The Omipresence: I'm often asked for that miracle. But that one I really can't do!

- The emails in French and Spanish: ok, the call for papers, the website, the instructions are ALL in English. Do you know me from somewhere?! I happen to understand both languages but why do you have to make my life any harder?! C'mon, you are submitting papers in English RIGHT?!?!

- the Nigerian registrations: they never intended to attended the event, but they want an invitation letter for fake visas into Europe. So they spam my email, first with "May God Bless you in the this fine day, and your company and your family, please provide invitation letters" (no joke!!) then with "Send letters now. Reply." emails if I don't answer. If I happen to have online registration, I get massacred on both sides. I got 40! fake registration in one event alone. I AM NOT THE IMMIGRATION OFFICE! YOU WON't GET LETTERS OF INVITATION! QUIT IT!!

Update:
- the "show off" names: people that are on the list as organisers and don't do anything! they don't even know they are there!

Well, let me go back to "making your event a success"...